Allan: Tens of millions of families with Alzheimer's disease and dementia all over the world, including our family. We are Alz In The Fam. I'm Allan Fair.

Poli: And I'm Poli Fair Noyes. We're siblings, we’re parents, but we're also caregivers.

Allan:This is our podcast. This is our support group. Welcome to our family. Alzheimer's sucks, but this family lives, laughs and learns as we fight for a cure. Welcome.

So this is really exciting for Poli and I because this is our fifth episode, and it's our first episode where it's our entire family. Our foursome of siblings are sisters Boni Fair Vinter and Tressa, who goes by Trissi, Trissi Fair Bennett is here in the house. What's up, guys?

Boni: Glad to be here!

Allan: So we're going to make this episode a lot about Boni and Trissi, getting to know them. But maybe I thought I'd share out and just share a few things that all four of us have in common. So, first of all, we're four siblings - same mom, same dad. All four of us are married. Each of us have two kids, so there's eight awesome cousins that are part of our tree that are all really good friends and really awesome kids; some adults. Not all of them are kids anymore. Poli, Boni and Trissi are two years apart. And then eight years later I came along. We grew up in what's called the DMV, which stands for the DC, Maryland and Virginia area where all of us live, except for myself. I moved to New York City after college. But what we really have in common and what brings us together for the purpose of this podcast is that our mom, Carmen, has Alzheimer's disease. And we're here to share our journey as her caregivers and our and our partnership in that. So I thought it be nice, why don't we give Boni and Trissi the opportunity to start themselves? So we'll go in birth order. So why don't we start with Boni?

Boni: Hi, everyone. I'm happy to be here today. As Allan said, I'm a mom of two. I’m the middle daughter, so the most left out, of course. I have two children and stayed home with them for many years, and went back to work full time about four years ago. And I'm happy to be on this. You know, I think when you get that diagnosis of Alzheimer's, it's almost like when you decide you're gonna buy a car, and suddenly you see that car everywhere, but don't know anything about it yet. That's how we felt. You know, all of a sudden, we knew a bunch of people who then also had Alzheimer's in their families. But you even in that feel very alone at first. So being able to talk about our experiences and give some tips and a little bit about how we're managing what's going on and just being able to talk about our awesome mother is my reason for being here. So, thanks for having me.

Allan: So happy to have you here. And happy to have you too Trissi. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Trissi: Hi, everyone. I’m Trissi and I have boy girl twins who are 20. And, like Bonnie, I stayed home and raised them. And now they're in college, of course their home right now for the quarantine. And I've done some food safety advocacy along the way, and I'm an attorney. So, I’ve recently gone back to school since the kids are in school and I have free time. And we talked about doing a podcast for a while - I think it was Poli's original idea or Allan's original idea.

Poli: It was Allan’s.

Trissi: It was Allan's, okay, and I just always thought it was a great idea. But I didn't know how to evin begin to go about doing it. So, um, I'm excited you guys started it. And I'm very happy to be a guest to talk about our dear mother and, you know, just hope to help the Alzheimer's community in general somehow and just have time with my siblings.

Allan: I think something that really helped us is listening to the stories of other people. When nobody knows that they're gonna end up with a loved one with dementia, right? You're not living your life prior to it thinking, “Oh, I've got to start thinking about a future where my parents are gonna become elderly and maybe start to lose their marbles”. So, it's something that sort of thrust upon you. You're not looking for it. You don't want it to happen. And then suddenly, it's thrust upon you and you look to the journey of others to help provide guidance and learning what to do really at all phases; from the earliest phase to middle phases, you know, we went through all the phases. Hey, something's wrong with Mom. Oh, my gosh. You know, the diagnosis, the moving her out of her home when she was no longer able to live there, when she stopped driving, all these different milestones. What, may be starting with Boni again, what's your earliest memory of when something wasn't quite right with Mom?

Boni: So Paul and I talked about this a little bit because it was about 10 years ago, and I used to drive my older son Andrew to school in the morning and drop him off and be alone in the car for a little while and, I would immediately call Mom. Like, every single day, that was my time to talk to her. And I called Poli after one of those phone calls and said, “There's something wrong with Mom. She's not remembering when I tell her something even the next day. There's something wrong”. And I think at that point, Poli said, “No, no, no. She's listening to Oprah in the background or the news”. And you would always here with the television in the background. And I said, “You know, I think it's more than that”. Do you remember that, Poli, do you remember that?

Poli: Yeah, I remember that. I specifically remember it. I remember that my daughter was in eighth grade at the time, Alex. And Boni told me that and I thought, “No, she's just not paying attention. Because…”. But what I have noticed is, Alex used to call mom and ask for help with her Spanish homework. And, and she was always so helpful it was a nice little away for mom to be involved with the kids. Just, you know, it wasn't every evening, but, you know, once a week or so. But there came a point when mom really couldn't do it. Couldn't and, I thought she just wasn't paying attention. She would get kind of irritable. It was like Mom knew that she wasn't able to help and that bothered her. She didn't want to be asked anymore. But I thought she was irritable and not paying attention.

Boni: Yeah, yeah. Because I think the time when, you know, we really knew as opposed to noticed, was around the time when my sister in law Serena had a baby shower and was pregnant with her twins. And my mother didn't remember. Mom didn't remember that who Serena was, let alone that she had been to the shower and that she was pregnant with twins. And to this day, she's still surprised by that every time, every time she hears it. But there was that time period where we kind of went from very quickly, in the space of about a year, where we went from, “There doesn't seem something right”. And I do think, you know, one of the issues about Alzheimer's is you hear this thing, “Oh, it's not about not remembering where your keys are, it's not about remembering what your keys are for”. And that's just not true. It's truly about not remembering where your keys are, at first. I mean, there's this, there’s so many stages of it that you need to be paying attention to at a much earlier time if you want to try and be involved and get some help for your loved one.

Allan: Absolutely. How about you, Trissi? What's your earliest memory of something not being quite right with Mom?

Trissi: I would say it was around the same time. As what Poli was talking about that was happening with Alex. And she was over my house. She spent a ton of time with us. She helped me raise Chloe and Luke and would spend a couple of nights a week here. This was actually, though, I think after she had stopped doing that and she was just visiting. Anyway, she came over and she pointed out a problem with a tree that we have outside in which she was really good to doing that. We have towering, towering trees. So, you know, it was good that she would point those things out to us, and I said, “Oh, okay. Yeah, I see that dead branch. We'll have to take care of that soon”. And literally a minute later, she said the same thing and I said, “Okay, Mom. Yeah, I got it. Don't worry”. And then a minute later, again, and unfortunately at the time, because I didn't know what was going on, I got a little annoyed and I said, “Mom. Okay, you know, I got it. This is the third time you told me. Come on”. And she just looked at me with this blank stare, you know like, “what are you talking about? I didn't tell you this three times”. You know, she didn't say that, but it was just kind of a shocked look, and she didn't say anything, and I realized, oh, my gosh, she has no idea.

Allan: Yeah, it's interesting and something that I look back with a little bit of regret on my end is some of those incidents where Mom forgot something, was annoying to me. You know, Mom, how could you? How could you forget that I was coming to visit you with some of your grandchildren? How could you forget who’s some of my best friends that I grew up with are? How do you not remember that we always shopped at Giant, and now you're saying that we spend our lives shopping at Safeway? All these things that were just: Mom, what are you talking about in your in your initial response because you don't know that, oh, it's because this is early, early onset dementia. You're just annoyed by them.

Boni: So true. Because I used to always say to her, “Yeah, I grew up there, too”. So, you know, she would say, “Yeah, we shopped at Safeway all the time”, and I'd be like, “You know, I grew up in that house, too, and I'm pretty sure it was Giant”.

Trissi: She didn't go into Giant; we went into Giant. She sat in the car reading her book.

Boni: Well, that was later on.

Poli: Yeah, I think it's… Mom changed in a way, she got irritable. When she's not so much anymore, but at first, when you were questioning her memory of things, she would fight back, or she would be irritable or thinking, trying to make her seem like she would have memory issues. And I understand that now because sometimes I tell my kids, “I told you we have this. You know, we have to go to Aunt Trissi’s house, we want to go to Aunt Trissi’s house or Aunt Boni’s house at five today and you’re not ready”. And they're like, “No, you didn't”. And I'm like, how can you question that? It makes me very irritable. And I think that I understand that how mom was back then. It's probably cause she was like, “Why are you guys questioning me”? But, and that irritability made me feel, maybe less sympathetic that she might have a disease and more like what the heck, Mom, that's not you. Stop it.

Allan: And I would say, advice and wisdom that we can offer having gone through those experiences is that - at the end of the day, when you start to see your parent’s memory or any loved one’s memory not be what it once was, you can opt to go a while and just say, “Hey, this is strange”, and, you know, be annoyed by it or chat with your siblings or other loved ones about it. And often that can, that can turn out to add up to a lot of years before you do anything. So, if you if you happen to be listening to this and say hm, that kind of sounds like my mom or dad or my grandparents, the sooner you can start to get them looked at by a doctor, the better it will be, because this journey will begin whether you're ready or not, and you want to avoid any sort of inciting incident that just forces it upon you, so the more you can get ahead of it, the better.

Poli: Well, it changes your… it changes once you see them diagnosed or go through it with the doctor if you can get them to go, which wasn't easy with Mom. But it changes your role instead of being irritated by them and their refusal to believe what you're telling them. You become a caregiver and you realize I need; this person needs care from me. The person who cared for me the whole time I was growing up now needs my care. So you know, you're more open to making that transition. Does that make sense?

Boni: Well, and I was gonna bring this up later, but the patience level is just a complete role reversal. You know, I tend to be an impatient person, and when you recognize that this is not happening because of your inability or because of not paying attention suddenly your compassion comes into play, which becomes huge. But the other piece is to that, you know, when you're starting to notice things in question, you have to remember we didn't necessarily even realize until we were cleaning out Mom's house and the community came by. We didn't see but a pinprick of what was actually happening in her life on a daily basis. Even when we were going over two and three times a week, you just don't have that, and had cameras, everything. We just, you just don't have that sense of what's going on. So, you're only getting that very, very small, simple snapshot of what's going on.

Allan: I may be mixing a couple different memories here. But during that sort of discovery period where she was still living at home, but was well into the onset of her dementia, there was that time where suddenly she had this extra concrete slab to her front patio? Suddenly it just doubled in size, and there was this new slab of concrete. We’re like, “Mom. Where did this come from”? And she said, “my friend did that to me”. And were like, “Who the hell is your friend. What is this all about”? Am I remembering that correctly?

Boni: Yeah. And there were a couple things like that. Like, remember her friend who would bring her flowers?

Poli: Yeah, this was, yeah. You would you come over and be like, what? Like what made you decide after 40 years that you needed an increase slab. And then she never went out there! Still inside the box. Still stayed in the in the original space. But she made a lot of weird decisions like that. And that was a, you know, a clear sign. People would come to her saying, “Oh, do you need me to do this job? I see you have this problem. Can I fix it for you?”, and ask her for cash, which is, you know. We didn't realize it at first, but I do remember questioning some of her decisions, like mom, no, you can't give money to people who just walk by. You can't. You know, you can't really trust these people and she’d be like, “Why not? I know them. He wants to be my friend”. Like I don't think a you know, a 50 year old, you know, drifter wants to be your friend. You're beautiful, but that's not what's going on here.

Boni: You remember when she gave that person or purse?

Poli: Yeah. Yeah.

Boni: At the bank?

Poli: Yeah, it was. I think it was the post office. It might have been the bank. She would have told us, she may have told us different stories. Yeah, she said a woman admired her purse, and so she gave it to her. She took her stuff out and gave it to her. And I'm like…

Trissi: that's interesting, cause that's what I was going to say. I remember she just started giving us things. Her jewelry. I think that makes me wonder if she had some sort of awareness, even though she would never. It meant necessarily, but she would start giving her jewelry away. And then she would just give us money all the time. The kids, especially, she was always wanting to hand them money. So, she did become very generous in that way, which is kind of sweet, but also very scary.

Allan: It's interesting because that reminds me of the last bedroom that I had in the house in which we grew up in. So, there were four bedrooms and then we converted a bedroom in our lower. We converted a room into a bedroom in our lower level, and I think all of us took a turn living in that room, you know, a sign of independence. When you reach a certain level of teenager-hood, you move into that lower room. So, I was the last to live in it, and then it became the playroom for all of our kids. So, it became the toy room. And so, all of our children probably have memories specifically of that room because that's where mostly my old toys were and some other things. So, by the time my kids came around and I would go and visit with her, she would want me to take all the toys in the room. And I would say, “No, Mom, when they come here this way, there will be these toys and they’re my old toys so there are stories behind it”. And we've got plenty of toys back home, like leave them here for the kids when they come visit. But you know, then she would come visit or go somewhere and she she’d have something for the kids. And it was, you know, a box full of broken GI Joe figures. Like Mom, leave the broken GI Joe figures at your house or throw them away. You know, what do we need these broken toys for?

Boni: Well, and I will say that was one of the, leading off of that, that she put a high dollar value on those items and that was something that kind of rolled into the disease later on where the value of items became all the same or some things were so great. So a broken GI Joe, half melted, became as valuable as the necklace that she gave us. She really didn't have, doesn't have now, and that was an early thing, was didn't have done any way of differentiating value.

Poli: Yeah, I wonder how much the you guys remember. She was going to T J Maxx and Home Goods and she would just buy tchotchkes, just little weird things. But every week, when she had her hair done, she would go there, and there’d be something else. And the house started getting pretty crowded with, um crap. I don't know what else to, I don't know how to put it nicely. I wonder how much of that was from her Alzheimers.

Allan: I suspect it is directly correlated. My father in law also has dementia so this truly is Alz in the Fam for me. And he buys trinkets all the time, that the basement of his house is just full of crap that he adds to at any chance that he can. He'll take, if he sees in a dollar on the counter, he'll take it and go to a thrift store and buy a little box. And be excited about that.

Poli: I thought you were going to say if he found a penny on the ground, he would stoop and pick it up. Because Mom became a person who would pick anything shiny up off the ground recently, which is concerning. I mean, ponytail holders she’ll keep that, um I don't know.

Boni: Tinfoil.

Poli: Tinfoil.

Allan: And so out of character too, because before her dementia, she was a very cautious person. Not particularly social; had had friends, but certainly wasn't going to accept help from any strange men or anything like that. And the few times that she visited me in New York, the way she would hold her purse and just, you know, a death grip on it. Just she, she was terrified of big cities and other things. So, to go from that to someone who would give her purse to a stranger in line is just completely out of character or for her and the person she was.

Poli: Yep. Alan, do we want to move on and talk with Boni and Trissi about how being a caregiver change their lives, their home life, their family or us is a whole how we all, how it changed? Who wants to go first? Trissi, you want to go first this time?

Trissi: Sure. Rarely happens. Um, so the subject to me around before made me think of kind of an anecdote. I guess one of the things that changed, of course, is just all the research and information you start looking for. And I tend to dive deep and stay up late just reading whatever I can about a topic like Alzheimer's. And you learn that bathroom issues can be something that happens with Alzheimer's patients. And when Mom was still living at home as far as we knew she wasn't having any issues at all. But one day I went to visit her, and when I got out of my car, there was something on the ground that looked like maybe she had taken a BM outside and it was just so strange looking. And I remember taking a picture of it and, you know, sending it to Poli and Boni, and thinking, “Oh, my gosh, you know, how could she have done this”? It was right in the middle of the driveway basically, or a little off to the side in the garden area that she had. And I just thought for sure that she had done that. Well, it turns out she hadn't. It was like raccoon or something, you know, an animal had gotten into it. Like, now I know because we have raccoons in our neighborhood. But at the time, I was just so sure, and I remember feeling so bad that as a caregiver, when somebody has a disease like Alzheimer's, you just think you just don't trust anything about them anymore. It's just inherent. And after that happened, I thought, “Okay, I can't be that person. I have to believe some of things that she says are true and that she knows what she is talking about much of the time”. And, you know, I just I just felt terrible in that moment. And now you know, she, of course, I think a lot of elderly people have bathroom issues, and she does every once in a while. Though now the medicine that she's on has done a great job of controlling that. But that's what has changed me, I guess I would say, is just trying to find, you know, the balance of informing myself, but also being very empathetic and remembering how I would want to be treated in that same situation.

Poli: Yeah, and Boni, how do you think being a caregiver really changed you, or what changed for you and your family?

Boni: Well, I think those are two very deep questions. So, for me, I'm going to say overall, you guys know me, I'm not necessarily the most patient person. And for me personally, I think it's really given me a sense of compassion and patience that extends even outside of the Alzheimer's caregiving role for me, personally. And I learned that truly from Mike, my husband, and from my kids. And thank God we all took his lead on him being so unbelievably patient as Mom started repeating herself and doing things around the house, he always accommodates and accommodated her when she would repeat herself. He just patiently answered the same question 100,000 times and gave a separate answer. And my kids took that lead, and JP had a little thing where Grandma picks the topic for each child and she sort of gets in a loop, and sometimes it will change a little bit, but in a loop. And one of the loops with all of our kids is what are you gonna be when you grow up? What are you doing now? What you gonna be when you grow up? So, JP his joke was, and is, he will tell her something different everything single time. And sometimes they're very funny: “I'm gonna be the garbage man, Grandma. That way I can come and visit you”, or “I'm gonna be an astronaut Grandma”. And then, you know, Mom answers either in a very positive or very surprised, but always very supportive way. So that is one big change for me personally. And I mean, the going into what's happened with my family, of course. I mean, that could be a whole 10 episodes because we went from having conversations between the four of us, between three of us, and especially between Poli and I. How we going to get over there? Who's going to see Mom today? Trissi, who's gonna go over and see Mom today? You know, what's the next step in her care? How do we get to this doctor's appointment? To her really living part time at my house. We moved one of my children downstairs because we had a room made for her in our lower level, and Trissi knows this too, and my mom does not want to be on the lower level. She needed to be closer to us. So, her bedroom, which I'm in right now, was right next to mine. And she lived with us a few days a week for a couple of years as her progression became more and more serious. So, yeah, you know, it's love and its guilt and its balance, and it's all those things at once. I mean, you know how did it change us? I mean, I don't know, there's a journey to life. So, it became this journey that we were on and we're still on. And, so I don't know. I mean, I don't know how it would have been if it didn't happen.

Poli: Yeah.

Trissi: Can I add one thing?

Allan: Of course.

Trissi: I just want to say that I can call myself a caregiver, but what I've done is nothing compared to what Poli has done. I mean, you know, she's been the main caregiver and I'm sure she's changed the most from all of it. And has, you know, really earned that title of caregiver. So, I would say, you know.

Poli: I would point out that you can't do it without… I'm a person who needs to talk to other people, bounce ideas, needs help sometimes to ask, right, and that's the thing. We, you know, Mom's legacy will be how much we work together as a family, even when we have differences, which if you're a family and you don't have differences sometimes or argue with each other, then you're lying.

Allan: Of course.

Poli: Okay, you're either a liar or you have differences and you argue, sometimes that's it. So, but Mom's legacy is we work well together, and you know, I couldn't do it without every, each one of you and even your extended family. You know, I think we all learned something from Mike, Boni. And it's amazing. I've told stories before, the kids have learned from us without even, you know, you don't have to tell them what to do. They just take the right approach. And so, there is a positive change, how it changed my family being caregivers, you know, even Steve. One time I wanted to go to again tennis, my tennis team party. And I was like Mom’s staying here. I don't know, maybe I can't go. And he's like, just go she can sit with me. And Mom likes to watch the evening news. So does my husband. So, they could watch that together. I know Mom has her thing with each of our siblings. But it really, I think the thing with Alzheimer's is, and I was used to this progression with kids where it it's not that it gets easier, but the amount of direct hands on care you have to provide gets less and less as they get older, right? They can go to school by themselves. They can eventually drive themselves places. They can spend the night over friend's houses. With Mom, her need for care became greater and greater and greater. And just when you think you can't do any more, there's more to do. So, I think that was it. And you need to ask more from your family like, you know, can you watch Mom while I go to the grocery store or, ah, anyway.

Allan: Well, it makes me think about our kids and how perfectly fine our kids are in growing up with an experience of seeing their grandmother go through this progression of dementia to Alzheimer's. We've even talked about having our kids on at one point, and then we thought, but what would say? What would they compare it to? It's all they've ever known, and they're just, maybe it's through our lead or just their genetic disposition. But I think all of our kids have been wonderful and none of them seem sad or have any sort of resentment or blame in their life for the fact that their grandmother started out one way and who she is now is much different. I think that's pretty remarkable on the part of all of our kids. You know, I don't have a lot of memories of them being deeply sad or angry about it. They rolled with the punches the whole way through.

Poli: I think it's amazing their patience with her cause Mom does repeat herself a lot, says the same thing over and over, and they still really treasure their grandmother. I mean, that's what's amazing. Even though she's of, I'm not gonna say of no use to them, but you know, she's not handing out cash anymore. She's not making them cookies or having them spend the night at her house or doing a lot of the things maybe their friends’ grandmothers are. But they still treasure her and love her all the same. So.

Trissi: Yeah, I have to add though that my daughter is so sad about it. I mean, she accepts her the way she is now, but she was so close to her, and she says all the time, you know, “I miss, you know, I miss grandma”, and actually, my husband says that, too. And, she also was really angry that some of the stories that she wanted to get out of her she was never able to get out of her. And she would tell me, you know, you need to make her tell you something's before this gets too far along. So, you know, there were even a couple of times where we took her lunch, and we would just ask her, you know, a few questions. And she opened up, but, you know, there were some things that we had never heard before. Names of people that we had never heard before. So, you know, maybe they’re true, but we I have no idea. I mean, I assume that they are, but yeah, I've been saying that, Chloe is, you know, she's definitely mourning what she had with her and things that she can't ever find out about her.

Poli: Yeah.

Allan: As I was saying that I was, I was thinking about Chloe and how much Mom loved Chloe and would spend time with them that they had a, really have a really special relationship that I think is unique. So, I'm not surprised to hear that, and yeah, it's tough. Sorry I interrupted a…

Boni: Mom likes the girls. She was very close with. She likes, she likes the girls. If you ever, when I take mom to get her nails done, I literally bring up pictures. I have a whole it’s almost like a playlist for Mom. But it's pictures of Ava, Alex and Chloe and then a couple mixed in baby pictures. Especially, Mom's always loved babies, loves our babies the most. And then some current ones, because you can just show were the same ones over and over again, and every once in a while she'll be like oh! I think I have seen that one before, but most of the time it's fresh.

Trissi: Yeah.

Allan: Sure.

Poli: Yeah, well, the kids, I mean, I do think Trissi, similar to what you said, the kids do feel a loss. The older ones who remember a little bit more how much Grandma could do before.

Boni: But I also feel like I agree 100% with my kids. You know, I also think that one thing that hasn't changed with Mom is how much she loves them. And so, they feel that piece even with the loss of activities and that kind of thing. So, you know, I mean, one of the last things that we do with Mom is to take her to JP's rugby games and things like that and walk along the field. And I have a picture of mom with JP every year from when he is four until 16, playing rugby after a game. He's all sweaty and Grandma is, you know, the difference in size is funny as you go up, but I think that they treasure Mom as she is even as they miss her, because, you know, she's the same person to them.

Allan: Absolutely. Trissi, you know, this is great. We had a little bit of an episode outline how we're gonna talk and then the magic happened in between the few spaces. Before we wrap up, Trissi, I did want to turn it over to you and give you an opportunity if you wanted to add anything more before we close out, about how it's changed your life and how you feel different as a result of the journey that we've been on as Mom’s caregivers?

Trissi: Sure. I would say, for my family, what's a little different is that my mother in law is also very ill and has been for a very long time. She had a massive stroke when she was only 60 years old that left her impaired on the left side of her body. And she is in a nursing facility not far from us. So, we've been taking care of her for a long time, and, you know, you just learn, or we learned that it can be a really long journey. You know, we have thought a few times that she might leave us, and she has hung in there. And, you know, it's been almost 25 years now since she had her stroke. And recently with Mom when she contracted COVID, that really hit me hard for a couple of days. I really thought we might lose her and not be able to be with her. And it just makes you really think about what these people have done for you and how amazing they have been in your lives. And, you know, with my mother in law, we've really mourned the fact that she couldn't be the grandmother that we knew she could be, as I'm sure she did herself. I mean, she expressed that many times. So, you know, being sort of a caregiver, although that's my husband's responsibility primarily, to an adult has been in our lives for a while. We always say we feel like, almost like we have these two extra kids that are in boarding school, or something, that we're responsible for that. We need to make sure that we're, you know, in touch with the people who take care of them. And, you know, just try to have them be as much part of our lives as they can still.

Allan: Yeah, it's tough. I sure am glad to have the three of you. I think we're very lucky to be a team of four. And I'm just super grateful for it. And I hope that for any family that might be going through this, that your siblings, your loved ones, they're gonna matter now. I think, generally speaking, we're fortunate where we get along pretty well anyway. But, look around at your family. They're gonna be your team as loved ones in your family age. Um, this is this is a hell of a team right here. Nice to be with you.

Boni: Thanks.

Allan: Well, this was fun. Should we do it again sometime?

Trissi: Sure. Some time soon!

Boni: Sure.

Allan: All right. Nice to be with you guys.

Thanks for listening to Alz In The Fam. In the fight against Alzheimer's and dementia, we are all family. Find us at Alz In The Fam on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and on our website alzinthefampodcast.com. We appreciate you clicking that subscribe button on Apple, Google, Spotify or whatever your favorite podcast catcher may be. Alzheimer's sucks, but we're in it together. We are Alz In The Family. Talk soon.